


The One With the Ghostbusters

by thestanceyg



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestanceyg/pseuds/thestanceyg
Summary: A little bit of crack where Darcy gets set up by her Uncle Venkman.





	The One With the Ghostbusters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shuofthewind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuofthewind/gifts).



> This story is inspired by the world [ChrissiHR](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrissiHR/pseuds/ChrissiHR) created in [Color Commentary](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12550024) though it is not related.  
> Additionally, this is for shu, who kicked some ass on an exam today.

“Darcy, I promise you it’s just this one time,” her Uncle Peter was whining.

“See, that’s what you said last time,” Darcy sighed, “and it wasn’t a one time thing. This phone call is proof that it wasn’t a one time thing.”

“Last time was a whole other thing. This is a new thing. And just like that last thing, which was also a one time thing for that specific thing, this is also a one time thing, but for this specific thing.”

“Do you even remember what the last thing was? Because I do. It ruined my favorite shoes.”

“Hey! I replaced those shoes!”

“So you  _ do _ remember.”

“Excuse me for thinking you might be interested in the family business.”

Darcy rolled her eyes at Jane who stifled a giggle as she mixed a new pitcher of margaritas. “Uncle Peter, all of mom’s family disowned you until you got all famous and then  _ you _ disowned  _ them _ for wanting your money. You only tolerate me because I can’t be swayed by your celebrity.”

“What can I say kid, I like people who don’t bullshit.”

“You made mom let me visit you two weeks every summer from when I was 7 on. You didn’t know I was a no bullshitter back then.”

“Nah, I just thought I could make sure you weren’t one with my excellent influence.”

Darcy laughed. “Put one of the others on the phone. I’ll let you decide which one, but I need someone that is not you to tell me that I should do this thing.”

“And then you’ll do the thing?”

“I guess. Even though you still haven’t said what the thing is.” Jane made a giant “no” motion with her hands. “FYI Jane is convinced this is a terrible idea, and she’s probably not wrong. So I guess I better ask what the thing is before I agree to it.”

“Too late! You already promised.”

“‘I guess’ is hardly a promise Uncle Peter.”

“Do you want me to bring Egon in on this? Because I will.”

“No. Don’t bother the scientist that is actually making sure everything is safe and whatnot.”

“Safe is a relative term.”

“Whatever. But I’m still not coming unless one of the others tells me it’s a good idea.”

“Louis!” She heard him yell.

“Tully doesn’t count!!” she yelled.

“...what about Janine?”

“No. Ray, Winston, or Egon. That’s it.”

“But you said not to bother Egon.”

“Then pick one of the other two before I decide to hang up and finish drinking this pitcher of margaritas.”

“Fine, fine. You’re worse than the government stooges they send here all the time.”

“You know, for someone that wants a favor, you’re going about it in a strange way.”

“What’d he do now?” a new voice asked.

“Ray!” Darcy squealed. “How  _ are _ you?”

“I’m fine, Button.” Darcy groaned. “Groan all you want, you’re always going to be Button to me.”

“In some ways you’re worse than Uncle Peter.”

“Hey now. Let’s not say things we can’t take back.”

“Real talk, Ray. Does Uncle Peter  _ really _ need me to come help or is he having a fit of craving family again?”

“A bit of both, actually,” Ray said in his usual candid manner. “I think you should come. Might be good for you too.”

“Fiiiiiiine. Tell him to send me the details.”

“Will do, Button. Tell Dr. Foster to send over anything new she has for Egon.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you soon Ray.”

Darcy hung up and turned to Jane who was pulling crazy straws out of the drawer.

“So you’re going?”

“Ehhh. Ray said it’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, but Ray’s a little crazy,” Jane said, plopping the pitcher between them and leaning in to take a long drink from her straw.

“Maybe,” Darcy agreed, “But he’s not the con man Uncle Peter is.” She took a sip as Jane pulled away. 

“True,” Jane said with a nod. “But do you even know what this favor is?”

Darcy snorted, “No. It’s usually better not to ask because he assumes that’s acceptance.”

“You  _ are _ good at running into things without asking too many questions,” Jane said sagely before dissolving into giggles.

“Case in point you,” Darcy said, overcome with a fit of laughter.

“Good things come from leaps of faith.”

“Or hitting men with vans.”

“Or pitcher number two of margaritas.”

* * *

“Kiddo!” Uncle Peter yelled across the open space. Ray’s head was under the hood of Ecto-2, and he banged it as he pulled up to greet Darcy.

“Son of a..”

“Hey Ray,” Darcy laughed.

“Oh sure, ‘Hey Ray,’ but no hello for your own flesh and blood.”

“Hello Uncle Peter,” she said as she walked up to the desk. “Hey Janine. How’s it going?”

“Tell your Uncle Peter I need a few days off and he should get another secretary. This is too much work for one person.”

“Uncle Peter, Janine needs a few days off and you should get another secretary. This is too much work for one person.”

“You volunteering?”

“No thanks. I already have one scientist to care for.”

“About that…”

“What did you do?” Darcy demanded, narrowing her eyes at him.

“That favor I needed has to do with babysitting scientists.”

“Since when did Egon need a babysitter?” Sure, he did some wild experiments, but he still took time to eat and sleep like a normal person. He was the chillest scientist she had ever worked with. (She had spent a lot of time with him over her summer visits. That’s where she had first learned about the care and feeding if scientists, even if it was mild compared to what she dealt with now.)

“Since he started working on a consult with another scientist.”

“And that’s what you want from me for the week?”

“Pretty much, buttercup.”

Darcy looked between Uncle Peter and Ray. Ray had a wide grin and was nodding.”What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing! We just need someone to keep an eye on them, and we’re all busy, and, as Janine just said, she’s overworked; so I called my favorite niece.”

“I’m your only niece.”

“Minor detail.”

“Why are you so eager for me to babysit?” she asked Ray.

“I need to know they’re in good hands so I can do the things I need to,” he said turning back to the car.

“Liar,” Darcy called at his back.

“Let’s go say hello, yeah?” Uncle Peter said, taking her elbow and guiding her away.

“Yeah, yeah.” She followed him upstairs to the lab Egon had set up. Both scientists had their back to the door when they entered, and Darcy took a moment to notice how similar the two men were: tall, thin, crazy hair. Yeeeahhhh, maybe all the time she had spent watching Egon in fascination when she was little had influenced her more than she had realized. Suddenly Intern Ian made a lot more sense to her.

“Yo nerds,” Uncle Peter called out. “Babysitter’s here.”

The men turned around and Egon’s face lit up. “Darcy!” he said, pulling her into a hug.”I’m glad you’re here. Did Dr. Foster send anything for me?”

“Of course she did,” she said, pulling a thick envelope out of her bag but not handing it to him. “But you don’t get this until I know A-what we’re working on, B-what you need from me, and C-who you’re working with.” She tried to keep her eyes from lingering on the man now facing her, but failed.  _ Shit. He’s adorable _ .

“Right,” Egon said,  _ his _ eyes lingering on the envelope. “This is Dr. Spencer Reid. He’s consulting with me on improvements to the containment system as part of a PhD project.”

“Uh huh. And why am I here?” Egon’s eyes shot to Peter’s and he coughed and looked away.  _ Riiight _ . “Uncle Peter?”

“You care for and feed scientists for a living, right?”

“Yes,” she said slowly. “But Jane actually needs that. Egon’s never needed that before.”

“Yeah, well now there’s two of them,” Uncle Peter said with a shrug. “Just take care of them for me and make sure they don’t blow anything up.”

“You do know that Jane regularly blows things up right?”

“Yeah, but she means to,” he said, heading back toward the stairs. “Besides,” he called over his shoulder, “Dr. Reid could use someone his own age around here.”

She turned away for her uncle who was practically running from the room to see Dr. Reid looking at her. “Hi,”she said with a small wave. “I’m Darcy.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard? That sounds like you’ve heard about me before just now.”

“I have,” he said with a small nod and the start of a smile. “Everyone here is pretty fond of you.”

She could feel herself blush a little. “Yeah, well, they watched me grow up. I’m practically their kid too. Well, if they were parents that only got to see their kid a few weeks a year, that is. So, PhD, huh?”

“Yeah, number four.”

She let out a low whistle, and she noticed his eyes flick to her lips. “Well, well, well, Dr. Reid. Someone’s a smarty pants.” Smart guys had always been a weakness. 

“I don’t think my pants have anything to do with it,” he said looking down at them, his hands running down the front like he was checking them for smartness.

“Funny too,” she said a little too approvingly. “I think we’ll get along just fine as long as you eat and sleep when I tell you to.”

“I think I can handle that,” he said, his eyes sparkling with a little mirth.

“Ahem,” Egon cleared his throat. She had forgotten he was still there. “Dr. Reid, we need to get back to the equation.”

“Right,” he said, the tips of his ears a little pink.

“When did you get started?” Darcy asked.

Egon looked at his watch, but it was Dr. Reid who answered, “8 hours, 13 minutes ago.”

“How much coffee have you had in that time?”

“Just one pot,” Egon said.

Darcy nodded. “And last time you ate?” Neither said anything. “Cool. Food is my first priority. Got it. Anything I should know about your food preferences, Dr. Reid.”

“I like it all?” he said as more of a question. “And you can call me Spencer.”

“Spencer, have you never had an intern to cater to your science binges?”

“I am actually an FBI agent, not a scientist. So no.”

“Oh!” she said, surprised. “Okay then. Noted. Umm, well, this might be a bit new to you then, but I’m sure you’ll catch on to how I work. Egon knows.”

“She works for Dr. Jane Foster,” Egon supplied, pulling Spencer’s eyes from her. “She’s very good at what she does. It’s best to do as she says. She’ll drug you if she has to.”

“That won’t be necessary if no one stays up longer than 48 hours,” Darcy reassured him. “So I’ll get the food, and you two get back to work.”

“Right,” Spencer said, looking at her a moment longer before biting his lip and turning back to the large whiteboard they had been working at when she first came in. She went to the kitchen. This was going to be an interesting week.

* * *

Darcy was sitting on an empty table while Spencer read through some notebooks. Egon and the guys had been called out, so the two of them were alone in the lab. She didn’t really need to be there. Egon and Spencer ate and slept at regular intervals, often without prompting. They didn’t need her to transcribe data. So why was she really here? She looked over at Spencer, head bowed over the notebook, hair hanging slightly in his face as his finger traced the words. Her eyes lingered, following the movement of his finger. He must have felt her watching because he looked up.

“Sorry. This must be really boring.”

“I’ve only been here two days, but, I gotta admit, I’m not sure why I’m here. I don’t think you guys need a babysitter.”

He pursed his lips, and her eyes stayed focused on the way his tongue darted out a little. “They talked about you a lot before you got here.”

“And they didn’t tell me you’d be here at all.”

“Would you not have come if you had known?”

She looked down at her swinging feet. “Not necessarily.”

“Do you know what my job is with the FBI?”

“No, you didn’t tell me,” she said looking back up at him.

“I’m a profiler.”

“Oh,” she said lamely, her eyes searching his face.

His tongue darted out again as he licked his lips before continuing. “I think they asked you to be here because of me.”

She huffed a small laugh. “I don’t think you need a babysitter, Dr. Reid.”

“Spencer,” he corrected. “And I don’t think they had babysitting in mind. I think that was just the excuse.”

“What did you need then?”

His eyes left her face and looked at the floor as he said, “You, I think.” She could see the blush starting to color his face. She hopped off her table and was leaning over his table before she realized what she had done. She gathered her courage and slowly reached out, letting him see her intentions. When he didn’t stop her, her fingers tilted his chin so he was looking at her again. “Me?” she asked so softly it was barely a whisper.

He cleared his throat and she pulled her hand away, but continued to lean on the table across from him. “The idea of you,” he clarified. “I’ve been working with Dr. Spangler on and off for several months now. We don’t just talk science, though that would be easy to assume. I think they were trying to set us up.”

“Huh,” she said, moving to sit down, then falling over because there was no chair behind her. “Ooof!” she moaned as her ass collided with the floor. Spencer was out of his chair and around the table before she even looked up. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, squatting next to her.

“Guess you knocked me off my feet,” she joked.

“I would have rather done that metaphorically,” he said smiling at her.

“Yeah, me too,” she said, wincing as she moved to stand back up. He offered her his hand and helped her up, but didn’t let go once she was standing. She looked at their joined hands, and he started to pull away. She out a small noise of protest and he stopped. “How important is that reading you were doing?”

“Considering I wasn’t actually reading it, not very.”

“You weren’t reading it?”

“I was trying too.”

“Tying too.”

“I might have been a little distracted.”

“By what?”

“You.”

Her eyes pulled away from their hands and searched his face. He was definitely blushing and looked a bit uncomfortable to have said so much. “Distracted scientists lead to explosive results in my experience,” she said carefully.

“You would know.”

“I would,” she agreed. “Not all explosions are bad, though,” she added, eyes on his lips again. He licked them.

“No, they aren’t.”

She took a small step closer to him, taking her hand from his and placing it on his chest. “Some can be fun.”

He looked down at her hand and then his eyes flicked to her lips before they met hers. “I haven’t had fun in a while.”

“I wouldn’t mind showing you how to have a good time,” she said, going up on her toes.

“Then show me,” he whispered as he leaned down into her.

His lips were soft but firm on hers, certain about kissing her. His hands gently cupped her face, and her other hand joined the first on his chest, slowly balling into fists full of shirt to pull him closer to her.  She wasn’t sure how long they kissed, but it wasn’t long enough. They were interrupted by a throat clearing behind them. She slowly released his shirt as his hands moved from her face to her shoulders. She closed her eyes briefly and looked up at him. “Is it all of them?”

“Just Dr. Spengler,” he said.

She nodded and turned around. “Hello Egon,” she said, certain her face was completely red. “Catch the ghost?”

“We did,” he said. His face was full of merriment. He dropped a trap on one of the tables. “This one needs to be fixed, so I thought I’d drop it off before I hit the showers.”  He looked between them again. “I think I’m done for the night Dr. Reid.” He looked at Darcy. “Take care of him tonight?”

“I think I can handle that,” she said, trying not to laugh at Egon fully playing matchmaker now.

“Good,” he said with a nod. “You might want to get out of here before Venkman sees your lipstick all over him, though.” She whipped around and sure enough, his mouth had a bit of lipstick smudged on it.

“Son of a gun. That stuff was supposed to be stay all day.”

“You know, I find I don’t mind,” Spencer said with a smile. “But I do think we should take Dr. Spengler’s advice.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the back stairwell. “Anyone shown you the rooftop yet?”

“No?”

“No time like the present,” she said as they made their way up the stairs. She pushed open that heavy metal door and it groaned loudly as its rusty hinges moved. “No one will be able to surprise us up here.” The wind picked up a bit once they were fully on the roof and she shivered a bit.

“You’re cold.”

“Oh no,” she deadpanned, “whatever shall we do to keep warm.”

“I have a few ideas,” he said with a smile.

“I hope they involve more kissing,” she said with a cheeky grin.

“Of course,” he agreed his own smile evident as he pulled her in once more and captured her lips.

* * *

“For heaven’s sake,” Darcy sighed as her uncle waggled his eyebrows at her. “Just because this favor was a good one doesn’t mean all of them will be.”

“But who’s the best uncle now?”

“You are,” she said with a roll of her eyes. Spencer squeezed her hand, and she looked over at him. “You did just fine this time, Uncle Peter.”


End file.
